TMI

Caution! This post contains TMI. If you don't want to know TMI about me, I suggest you move on to another post.

This morning, my doctor confirmed that I had medically reached menopause. My hormone levels fit the exact levels for a woman in menopause.

I am some what ambivalent about this news and feel as though I've suffered a loss. Every time, I got my period, I said how much I hated it. Every time, I didn't get my period, I held out hope I was pregnant.

Except now. At 47, I didn't get my period (of course, the last one HAD to occur when I went on vacation ALONE with my husband. Karma is a bitch). I thought, what if I am pregnant? It happens (at least in the movies - cue Father of the Bride 2). It also happens in the Bible and Sarah was much older than I.

This time, there was no appeal to being pregnant. As I wrote in my last post, I have a 20 year old son and two teenage daughters. I don't want to go back to sleepless nights, exhausted days and never a moment to myself. I'm happy to leave that to my younger friends and borrow their babies for now (I said FOR NOW, I'm talking about grandchildren, are you listening kids?).

My older (and wiser) sister told me to get over it and move on, as did a friend. A new phase of life. I'll be honest though, it feels more like a downward slide to the  end of life, not a new phase. (this might be a Debbie Downer part - be forewarned).

What happens now (beyond the financial savings on not having to buy sanitary products)? I suppose deep down, I already knew since I've been having hot flashes for a while. Of course, I've googled all the information on this, what your hormone levels should be, what the average age is (I'm at the very edge of the low average), etc., etc.. I'm prepared for more hot flashes, vaginal dryness and perhaps some moodiness (I say some, since I'm damn near perfect now)

I'm sure in a few months, this will be the new normal. It's a bit of a wake up call because I know that the healthier I am now, the better off I'll be when I'm really ancient. When I'm all dried up like a prune and even KY Jelly won't help. When I can't hear shit and my memory is even worse than it is now. When hitting the age to be a member of AARP seems like years ago.

When I turn 90 and all of my children, and my grandchildren and my great grandchildren all come together to celebrate my birthday. In August we are celebrating Mimi's 90th birthday together with her daughter, her 3 grandchildren and her 7 great grandchildren.

But for now, I'll just crank up the a/c and bid goodbye to my friend of over 37 years. It won't be the same without you.